You Merely Adopted the Toxic, I Was born in it
Airing out my dirty laundry.
I have a Leo mom and Scorpio dad, so you know there was going to be some sort of childhood trauma in my life. My parents simultaneously ignored me and put the world on my shoulders, making me feel like every tiny little thing I did wrong was the end of the world
Right now most of the people reading this would say, "Just leave, dumbass." Well unfortunately I have a very unhealthy dependency on them. Financially, emotionally, I am tangled up in their web and there is no way out.
I've wrapped my head around this issue multiple times. It's solution is very simple, but it takes a lot of hard work and dedication.
NO ONE LIKES A VICTIM.
People love playing victim and they love to hate a victim. So let that toxic person in your life take on both roles.
You do everything right. You take time to reflect on the easiest way to satisfy both you and your toxic person's wants in the relationship. Do everything. Be everything. Play messiah. Every time they come to you on some BS, through the malice in their words, decipher what it is they are telling you or asking of you. In the most monotone voice, repeat what they said in different words. Chew up their rhetoric and bird feed it to them.
Then they will explode. It's like a switch will cut on and they will self destruct out of nowhere. I'm not a psychiatrist, I don't know why this happens. It just does.
You have to be fully prepared because whatever way they hurt you, they are going to do it even harder.
For me its verbal and emotional abuse.
This temper tantrum right here is how you shift the power. Treat them like they are two years old. You have the power. Look at them and just say, "okay." And ignore. Stare right at them and ignore them. Make them feel like anything they say or do is insignificant. You hold the mirror up to them and show them that the words they use to hurt you is just reflecting right back onto them. You could be dying on the inside, but you have to be impenetrable. People love playing a victim, and they love to hate a victim.
After I did this I cried. After I cried it was a new day.
And on this new day, everything is transnational. Never cut a deal that doesn't benefit you. You have no feelings toward them. No desires, no wants, just expectations.
The sacrifice of all of this is that you cut yourself off from the relationship, but you have to live in the relationship everyday.
It's hard work, but it works.