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For Avocado & Asparagus, get it?

For avocado and asparagus. Get it? Loll.

This meal doesn't have a name but it makes me really happy.



Cream Cheese

Two Eggs



Red Wax Gouda Cheese


Extra Virgin Olive Oil



Red Pepper Flakes

Cayenne Pepper

Avocado Base


Look, I don't mess with measuring spoons. They're dumb. They're made for dumb people. I'm smart. So what I do is mash up one avocado and mix in about 1 1/2 tablespoons of cream cheese. Into that mixture, I sprinkle in red pepper flakes, cayenne pepper, salt, and pepper until the ancestors tell me to stop.

This mixture goes in the middle of the plate. I like to make mine into a circle so it looks cute when I put the eggs on top of it.


If you don't know how to fry a runny egg, you are not an adult. Fry up two and place them on top of your avocado base. Lightly season with salt and pepper. LIGHTLY!! Because the salt can get out of hand real quick.


Saute large shrimp in butter and oil until pink. Lightly season them. I like to use a slotted spoon to pick them out of the pan then use a "sprinkle" motion so they fall haphazardly onto the plate. It looks really nice.


Use a baking sheet pan covered in oil. Wash and cut the asparagus then lay them on the oiled foil. Say "oiled foil" ten times fast. Season with salt and pepper (red pepper flakes too if you nasty ;) ) then roll up your sleeves. Roll the asparagus around so all the stalks are evenly coated in all of the goodness then shove them in the oven. I'm impatient so I cook them at 400 degrees and constantly check on them until they are tender enough.

I like to place them together in a bunch to the side of the avocado circle.

Sauce and gouda top

Okay this recipe is the sauce that I like to pour over everything. Follow all of the directions in step two, but omit the part about shallots and shrimp because ain't nobody got time.

When pouring it over the plate, make sure you don't use too much because the avocado base will take on a weird texture.

Last step is crumbling gouda on top of the plate! I like Maple Leaf Red Wax Gouda; it is heaven on earth.

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